"We all are born with a certain package. We are who we are: where we were born, who we were born as, how we were raised. We're kind of stuck inside that person, and the purpose of civilization and growth is to be able to reach out and empathize a little bit with other people. And for me, the movies are like a machine that generates empathy. It lets you understand a little bit more about different hopes, aspirations, dreams and fears. It helps us to identify with the people who are sharing this journey with us."
At this very moment, I am tirelessly typing this first entry one-handed. Not because I suffer from some typing handicap but because my other hand and arm are being occupied by my 2-month old son: E. He's decided that this is the perfect space for his late afternoon cat-nap because his beautiful aqua Mokee cot adorned with all the amenities of modern babyhood just doesn't quite cut it. Only mama's numb left arm will do.
As I venture into the first few of months of my maternity leave, I find myself glued to the couch, an infant latched on to my breasts for sustenance and a brain fit for binge-watching whatever it can vaguely concentrate on. The first weeks of E's life brought on a zombified state of mind. I could only focus on trashy reality TV and its revolving door sagas of stupidly rich women fighting amongst themselves for some mediocre social supremacy. It was all that I could handled and I make no apologies for blasting through the first 7 seasons of Real Housewives of Atlanta. I've earned back my entire Hayu membership for the year, and then some. But then as the sleep deprivation got slightly better and the days a little easier to handle, I started to feel guilty about all this time I spent with eyes locked on my 42" flatscreen. I started to feel as though I should be doing more... whether it be with E, my time off work. Doing more to figure out what it all means to be a mother.
The one thing I do know is that like the movies, motherhood requires a great deal of empathy in order to take care of this tiny human. I'm hoping that my years of endless movie binging and my BA in film theory might come in handy. How this fits in this blog is yet to be determined.
Stay tuned.
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